If I Make Veggie Skewers and Don’t Post a Photo on Instagram, Did I Make the Skewers?

I find the recipe in a cookbook as I aspire to make healthy food for myself at home.

I drive to the supermarket to buy zucchini and baby tomatoes.

I wash and dry the veggies.

I slice the zucchini with great care.

I soak the bamboo skewers for half an hour so they don’t burn in the oven.

I thread five skewers with alternating pieces of zucchini and tiny tomatoes.

I stare lovingly at the pretty thing I made.

I panic.

I feel a deep sadness.

I am alone in my kitchen. No one else is around or coming over soon to witness my creation. What can I do?

I take out my phone and snap a picture in the terrible lighting on my counter.

I post the picture of the zucchini and tomato skewers on Instagram.

I wait.  2 likes, 3, 4. OK good. Now my beautiful skewers officially exist.

I put them in the oven.

 

 

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Tabs Currently Open in Safari on My Phone

Kalitta Air – Wikipedia

Because my sister and I drove past an airport while driving from Philadelphia to the Maryland Coast and saw this airplane take off, and it seemed like a secret government thing and maybe the idea of an awesome novel or something. It’s a cargo airline by the way.

ashmolean museum – Google Search

Because on that same trip, my sister mentioned this museum in Oxford to me, and I really want to go. Just in case I can actually make it in the next ten years, this tab is open on my phone so I don’t forget about it.

Table 19 (2017) – IMDb

Because I was surprised that I hadn’t heard of this movie when I heard it about it the year it came out. And I can never think of movies to watch when I want to sit down and watch a movie. Still haven’t watched it 10 months later.

explorers movie – Google Search

Because remember that movie with those ridiculous aliens? It suddenly came to mind, and I want to watch it again if I can find it somewhere. When I watched it as a kid, I thought I’d be like those kids when I grew up.

cat’s cradle – google search.

Because at 30 I did not know what a cat’s cradle is. Seroiusly.

lightning and thunder song – google search.

Because I heard a song on the radio that made me feel pumped up, and I thought it would be a good soundtrack for writing so I don’t fall into self-loathing despair.

Is Peter Van Houten’s ‘Imperial Affliction’ a Real Book? – Bustle

Because, obviously, I was reading The Fault in Our Stars.

bonnie raitt songs – Google Search

Because I was in a bar in Tokyo where the sixty-year-old Japanese artist/bar owner was talking to another woman from San Francisco about how much they both loved Bonnie Raitt, and I wanted to make sure I’d listen to some of her songs. I still haven’t five months later.

toyota alphard – Google Search

Because have you ever heard of a Toyota Alphard? The Uber driver that picked us up from our AirBnB in Tokyo to go the train station was driving this bizarre-looking car that I had never heard of, and I felt like I had come across secret information I did not want to forgot. This tab is supposed to be an enlightened daily reminder of all the things I don’t know that exist in other countries.

anton chekhov – google search

Because he is one of the many classic writers I need to read, and this tab is my near-daily passive aggressive reminder of my failure as a sophisticated reader and worldly, educated person.

508 canal street – Google Search

Because while sitting on a Bolt Bus in lower Manhattan, I saw this sign at a stop light and caught a glimpse of some kind of history I wanted to look up. I immediately opened a tab and typed it in so I wouldn’t forget to look into it. I still haven’t read the search results, ten months later.

whisky gogo – Google Search

Because Whisky a Go Go is apparently a historic music spot in LA that I should check really out one day.

standing split – Google Search

Because I aspire to be able to do a standing split in 2018 and having this tab open will get me closer to that.

Bio of a literary agent

Because one day I’ll get around to querying my next book proposal, and what if this random person I came across is “the one.”

Gmail

Because I pretend not to use email on my phone and refuse to download the app on principle, but really can’t go a day without checking email on my phone.